Dating is Weird
Ok guys, as you know my divorce will be final in August…yay!! :) I haven’t dated a whole lot but the times I have, have been really odd. I know it gets better, but I’m not sure I even have the patience to date. Know what I mean? It’s all so complicated now. I worry about where my dates pick me up, what time I will get home so as not to worry my daughter…my daughter. :) I used to be concerned about worrying my parents, now it’s my kid :) But, I had a date with a nice man on Saturday. We had a great time at dinner, at the theater, and then went to see the local band The Meddling Kids. Love them!! If you get the chance, go to see them when they are out and about playing. But here’s the deal..nice date, nice guy, divorced..but midway thru the date he tells me he will be going away to do training for a promotion. It’s long term training and he will maybe get back on the weekends, if that. Then after the promotion, he will take a job closer to home not downtown where he is located now. Closer to his home is way down south past the Fingerlakes….ummmm I’m in Hilton. So, I am thinking to myself..”what is the point of dating you” I know, I have to get control of the random thoughts that go thru my mind as I am sitting at dinner, having a glass of wine and wondering “why I am dating at all” Maybe, I am jut not ready to date yet. At some point, I home my mind will quiet down and I can enjoy my date in peace 
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Why don’t you just take time for yourself and spend some quality time with your family and get go know yourself better before you jump into another relationship. You need time to heal and be yourself and answer to just yourself.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
HI, Yes, I agree. However, I filed for divorce well over a year ago. It’s nice sometimes to just to have a drink, dinner, and nice conversation. I have only dated a handful of times. I am , by no means, looking for “more”
I just want to have a bit of fun in an otherwise crappy time right now. The divorce, breast cancer, work, single motherhood can all be a bit much. Time for myself, I totally get, but every now and then, being out and about is nice 
Thanks so much for reading my blog 
Kimberly
THE BREAKFAST BUZZ WITH KIMBERLY & BECK
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:15 pm
In half defense for the guy…follow the simple rules.
1.) Follow your gut (even if you think its lying to you)
2.) Take time to yourself…(circumstances may change, but if he is any kind of “REAL MAN” he will gladly give you the time and space you need to figure things out
3.) Do Not (repeat NOT) take advantage of 1 and 2
In his defense though…I have to say, if he is a good guy, and “Down Home” means like Wellsville or Hornell or Southern tier of NY…then that is not tooooo much of trade off of distance vs a good thing (take it from an ex-dj that knows the hectic schedule you have to keep up with *LOL*)
on the other hand…dump his arse and give the rest of us fish a chance to be caught in the pond *LMAO*
July 24th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Man do I hear you girl! I am in the same position as you. Actually had my first date Sunday. It was nice, but I too had those random thoughts running through my head! I’m not looking for more either, but it would be so nice to have someone to hang with, go to dinner with, have adult (non-work) conversation with. It sure is hard to get back into the dating scene after such a long time away. Where to even start, right? My friends say to just hang in there…and I suppose that’s all us poor lonely cougars can do!!! Have a great day and I wish you the best in your “crappy” time.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Hi Kimberly:
Don’t worry about what travels through your head, it happens to all of us. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, just relax and have fun. If the guy moves, so what, it’s ok to date him and have someone to do something with even if it is long distance. Especially if you’re not looking for anything more. Then there is no pressure to have to see each other all the time. Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. You’re in the drivers seat, and can call the shots, take care of yourself and daughter first, everything else will fall into place.
also I am praying for you with your breast cancer situation, my sister in law just had the exact same thing. She chose to have a dual mastectomy though, but requires no radiation or chemo.
Have a great day.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Kimmy,just date me!!! No strings-Just a fling!!
love your show!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 28th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Kimberly,
I divorced in August 2005. Took me til May of 2007 before I would even entertain dating. I took the time to clear my head and focus on my (now seven year old) daughter. I can tell you from my experience, I am so thankful that I did. Although I did not think it possible, that time created an even stronger bond between the two of us that will be greatly needed for when she gets older. You still have that time with Chloe, time with no interruptions or distractions, take advantage of it… she’ll love you for it!
As for the companionship, yes, it did get lonely at times. However, my thinking was I did not want to jump back into something and have my daughter hurt again. So I decided to do it when I was ready. In addition, the lonliness went away by spending more time volunteering with my daughter’s activities and having dinner/movies with friends. Again, a stronger bond with my friends are a rewarding result of that.
I’ve had friends who rushed into dating even during their seperation etc. Those friends are still unhappy and in yet another unhealthy relationship. In return, I have taken the time I needed and found the peace and tranquility of my life that was needed. Most importantly - I found the true “me”. I’ve dated a couple of guys since May 2007, but now have been dating someone for almost a year. What makes me feel strong is that I know what I want - so does he - and he knows where I stand. It is a great feeling to be in charge of your heart.
I wish you the best of luck!
Shannon
July 29th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I am a single father of three girls and my youngest two I have full-time…I completely understand how difficult it is date with younger kids.
July 30th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Hey, at least this guy took you out. Most guys I know live with their parents and want me to drive AND pay.
July 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Hi Kim, It took me eight years after my divorce where I felt I was ready to take on a serous relationship again. I’m now five years into a serous commitment. Looking back at it now, I was a bit lonely at times, but overall I had a ball for that eight years. I concentrated on taking care of my kids and my job. I dated occasionally, but it never seemed right. I just woke up one day and said, ” Its time”. You’ll know, and I think its different for everybody. Best Wishes, Rich
August 4th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Kimberly
I was listening to a previously recorded show this morning on my way to work. It was regarding the man that you had dated and then confronted him about his non-existent divorce and his girlfriend of 7 years. Anyways to my point…. I am a single mother of two and I have found a nifty little website that has proven to help me with a little research prior to going on a date with someone. Now this doesn’t necessarily weed out all the wacko’s just ones that have either filed for divorce/separation, judgments, have been sued or have been convicted of a crime in Monroe County. You do have to register, but it doesn’t cost anything. A girl can never be to careful!!
Good luck with everything!
Cary
http://eclerk.monroecounty.gov/CLERK/HOME.ASP?SESSIONID=&RESULT1=&MORE=&BODY=LOGIN&BY=PARTYNAME
August 8th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Being divorced definately has it’s pros and cons. I can’t say I mind having a weekend to myself every other weekend even though my two girls are great! Just bought a coonhound pup to keep me company on those weekends alone. (I don’t suppose you feel that way with all your pets at home) Maybe the dating thing is like finding a house and you need to go through 10-12 before you find the right one! I guess we both got a ways to go then!
August 13th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Welcome to the wonderful world of life….I have to say that dating after a marriage of 20 years was pretty scary. First guy I went out with…I met online and when I showed up at the restaurant, he didn’t have very many teeth and the one’s he had…well, I’ll leave that up to your imagination. I told myself, “He’s not the one but this will be good practice.” So you’re getting some practice and that helps you build the resume of the guy you do want in your life. I’m sure you already know what you don’t want but do you know what you really do want out of a relationship? A woman that has a good job, owns a home and is secure financially can be awfully attractive to a man. Add the fact that you are a local celebrity and whammo - all the whacko’s show up along with some of the nice guys too. So make your list of what you want…don’t settle. I had to kiss a lot of frogs and I’m sure the guys I dated said the same thing about me before I found the right guy…or should I say…he found me or whatever you want to call it. He has all his teeth! And after dating for 2 years, we’ll be married in Maui next month, on the beach in our bare feet. He was worth the wait.
You have a lot going on in your life right now and emotionally may not be in a place where you have the energy to give to another. That was a mistake I made…choosing guys that couldn’t be there for me emotionally and then trying to make it work. I had to do my own emotional work and be able to be comfortable in my own skin so I could attract someone that could recognize that and enhance who I am as a woman. It will come with time…meanwhile, you get a chance to practice! There are a lot of nice guys out there…but you need time for you to heal and move forward.
September 18th, 2008 at 10:07 am
It’s been 10 years since I dated/divorced. I have concentrated on raising my daughter, working, recovering emotional, and finacially. I spent my time finding me. I do not regret for one minute not dating prior. My bond with my daughter is awesome, but now I feel like I am ready, it is so scary. Where do you meet nice guys? I won’t do the online dating, I do not hang out at bars, my friends are all married or involved and do not set me up. I do not feel I need to be with someone to be happy,I am content with my life, where is that nice guy 42-50 years old, that is happy, secure, well-rounded.